this is my life.

a naked man was killed in miami by police after he was found eating someone’s face off.

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so i’m watching toddlers and tiaras with my mom, and all of a sudden she tells me that she wanted to put me in pageants when i was younger.

…

I WAS ALMOST A TODDLER IN TIARA.

thank god my dad talked some sense into her.

ME. A TODDLER IN TIARA.

I CAN’T.

can someone please explain to me why we have not yet reached the level of technology where we find something we want to order on the internet and it immediately comes out of a slot or tube in our living room? like seriously. this whole idea of shipping something and having it travel to us by land or air is so archaic. seriously.

- the girl who never grew: follows a girl in new zealand who suffers from primordial dwarfism

- babies behind bars: follows a bunch of women in an indiana prison who either are pregnant, or have a child that they gave birth to while in prison. sidenote: they kept calling the prison nursery the “baby dorm”, which i found hilarious.

- i cloned my pet 2: about two crazy pet owners who want to clone their dead dog. super sad.

- i was dead: i haven’t seen this one yet, but apparently it’s about people who were considered medically dead, but are still (obviously) alive.

i love this channel so much it’s not even funny.

so yesterday i was at this great little place in the west village called milk & cookies (guess what they sell??) and this group of people came in and left this beautiful australian shepherd dog outside, and i was so busy staring at this dog that i almost didn’t look up and notice that academy award nominee jonah hill was one of the people that came in. we made eye contact, and he nodded hey. i didn’t even realize who this guy was at first, went back to looking at the dog (i was dog crazy yesterday) and then realized it was him.

moral of the story is i get more starstruck by adorable dogs than i do by legit celebrities.

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